It’s not just tears and exhaustion, let’s talk about the anger no one warned you about.
When we think about the emotional rollercoaster that is early motherhood, we often picture tearful moments, baby blues, or anxiety. But what happens when those emotions boil over into anger – irrational, explosive, and sometimes even scary?
Welcome to the hidden world of postpartum rage.
What is Postpartum Rage?
Postpartum rage refers to intense anger or irritability experienced by new mothers during the postpartum period. It’s not a clinical diagnosis on its own, but it's increasingly recognised as a symptom of underlying perinatal mood disorders like postpartum depression (PND) and postpartum anxiety (PNA).
And no, you’re not just being “hormonal” or “overreacting.”
This is a real and valid experience.
What Does It Look Like?
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Snapping at your partner over seemingly minor things
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Feeling like your blood is boiling for no logical reason
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Yelling more than usual or even scaring yourself with your reactions
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Internal rage bubbling under the surface, especially when things feel out of your control
Often, this anger is triggered by overstimulation, sleep deprivation, feeling unsupported, or the mental load of motherhood. The rage is less about what’s actually happening, and more about what’s built up inside over time.
Why Does It Happen?
There are several contributing factors:
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Hormonal changes: After birth, oestrogen and progesterone drop sharply, affecting mood regulation
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Sleep deprivation: Chronic lack of sleep is a known trigger for irritability and mood swings
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Loss of autonomy and identity: Many mothers report feeling unheard, unseen, or invisible – which builds resentment and frustration.
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Unrealistic societal expectations: The pressure to "enjoy every moment" and always be grateful can leave mothers feeling guilty for their anger.
The Shame Around Anger
Culturally, we’ve been conditioned to view maternal anger as taboo. Mothers are expected to be soft, nurturing, and endlessly patient. So when rage shows up, it can be deeply confronting, both for the mother and those around her.
But suppressing or denying these feelings only makes things worse. Normalising these emotions helps mothers feel less alone and more empowered to seek help.
When to Seek Help
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anger that:
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Interferes with your ability to bond with your baby
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Makes you feel unsafe, ashamed, or out of control
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Comes with intrusive thoughts, hopelessness, or anxiety
…it’s time to reach out. You’re not broken, and you’re not failing.
Where to Find Support
Here are a few resources available in Australia:
You can also speak to your GP, midwife, maternal child health nurse, or a perinatal mental health specialist.
A Word from Us at The Night Owl
At The Night Owl, we know that breastfeeding and pumping can be incredibly emotional, especially when you’re juggling it all with a foggy brain, a crying baby, and barely any sleep. If you’re feeling tapped out, angry, or just not yourself, please know this: You are not alone.
Motherhood is messy, raw, and at times rage-inducing. But with support and understanding, things do get better.
Let’s keep talking about the hard stuff...without shame.
References:
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Mullins, E., Hudak, M., & Altaye, M. (2014). Sleep disruption and maternal well-being in postpartum women. Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 10(5), 519–525.
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Feeley, N., Bell, L., Hayton, B., Zelkowitz, P., & Carrier, M. (2016). Care for mothers of preterm infants during the postpartum period: A conceptual framework. Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic & Neonatal Nursing, 45(6), 814-822.
